...and then there's this one, that I got on my way back from LTUE, a writing conference in Provo:
Tuesday, April 30, 2019
Ouch!
The only standard thing about Chinese fortune cookies is that nobody ever takes them seriously. They're often hilariously wide of the mark, and just as often misinterpreted with gleeful maliciousness aforethought.
...and then there's this one, that I got on my way back from LTUE, a writing conference in Provo:
...and then there's this one, that I got on my way back from LTUE, a writing conference in Provo:
Sunday, April 28, 2019
Wednesday, April 3, 2019
At the Eye Doc
Peter: "Love, do you want some coffee?"
Me: "They have coffee?"
Peter: "Look. Over there."
Me: "Oh, hey! Coffee!"
Receptionist: "So, I'm guessing she's the patient?"
Me: "They have coffee?"
Peter: "Look. Over there."
Me: "Oh, hey! Coffee!"
Receptionist: "So, I'm guessing she's the patient?"
Monday, April 1, 2019
Deja what?
Last week, the shoulder finally felt well enough to go back to the gym. Being me, I picked a setback number by guess and by golly, and went for it on squats and press. Well, I got it... but I was exhausted afterwards. Might have been too ambitious.
Then I got home, looked at my hedges, and thought, "Self, those needed trimming last fall, and you're finally feeling well enough! Time to get some sun and tackle them!"
Yes, I had forgotten about the gym. Yes, I had to take breaks when my hands started cramping too hard to hold the clippers. Yes, I bloody well got it done anyway. Even if lifting the giant contractor black bag chock full of clippings into the garbage bin nearly killed me.
Yes, I was fairly useless the rest of the day and the next one.
A week later, I go to the gym, and say to myself, "Self! Now is a light squat day, so we can tackle deadlift again!"
...I backed off 5 pounds for "light." Because me. And perhaps I should have backed off the deadlift weight a bit, for the first try at a work set. I might have been too ambitious.
After the gym, when I got to my front walk, I looked at my bushes and thought "Not only are those two not quite square, but everything's shaggy! It's growing everywhere I trimmed, and doesn't look neat anymore! I need to trim the bushes!"
...and then I stopped, because I could hear the universe laughing at me.
Tomorrow. Tomorrow will be a good day to trim the bushes.
Then I got home, looked at my hedges, and thought, "Self, those needed trimming last fall, and you're finally feeling well enough! Time to get some sun and tackle them!"
Yes, I had forgotten about the gym. Yes, I had to take breaks when my hands started cramping too hard to hold the clippers. Yes, I bloody well got it done anyway. Even if lifting the giant contractor black bag chock full of clippings into the garbage bin nearly killed me.
Yes, I was fairly useless the rest of the day and the next one.
A week later, I go to the gym, and say to myself, "Self! Now is a light squat day, so we can tackle deadlift again!"
...I backed off 5 pounds for "light." Because me. And perhaps I should have backed off the deadlift weight a bit, for the first try at a work set. I might have been too ambitious.
After the gym, when I got to my front walk, I looked at my bushes and thought "Not only are those two not quite square, but everything's shaggy! It's growing everywhere I trimmed, and doesn't look neat anymore! I need to trim the bushes!"
...and then I stopped, because I could hear the universe laughing at me.
Tomorrow. Tomorrow will be a good day to trim the bushes.