Saturday, April 7, 2018

And Another Thing!

Winter this year is like a moody hormonal teenager who desperately wants to get the last word in and make a dramatic exit with slamming doors, but hasn't reached the end of the argument. So there's A shout of cold, a finality, then they come storming back in with a deep frost after a day of terrible wind that blow all the warmth away, yelling "And another thing!"

I guess it's just as well that I didn't get the square foot garden materials acquired yet: last night put a frost on all the wilting new leaves on the bushes. Fortunately, it's a strong north wind trying to bring winter storming back down from Calgary, so the just- transplanted rosemary, oregano, and sage on the south side of the house, snugged up against the brick wall, are relatively sheltered.

Alma Boykin of Cat Rotator's Quarterly and I were discussing gardening, and I revealed my cunning plan to her: There's a small section of yard hemmed in on two sides by fence and the third by house, shaded for most of the day, severely unwatered because of the overhanging eaves, where nothing will grow except a few goatheads and a mesquite tree that laugh at my weed treatment. Well, If I plunk down a weighted tarp to keep the mesquite from from getting any sun, and to keep the goatheads from growing, I might as well make it a little 1.5 sq. ft garden, right?

But with such heavy shade and need for watering, It'll have to be something that I will enjoy if it lives, and won't care too much if it dies. Sounds great for a tough vegetable plant. Since we're doing fairly low carb in this household... why not zucchini? I object to paying for the stuff anyway, after living places where it appears in your car if you leave the doors unlocked - and nobody seems to do that here.

Alma thought about it for a moment, and declared, "You need an intervention."


  1. One zucchini plant - just ONE - and you're gonna be the one sneaking it into neighbors' cars. That stuff is bent on taking over the world and forcing us to live on tasteless vegetables of dubious nutritional value... oh, sorry, that would be Michelle Obama. Zucchini is merely a co-conspirator.

  2. Get rid of old friends: they too
    have gardens and full trunks.
    Look for newcomers: befriend
    them in the post office, unload
    on them and run. Stop tourists
    in the street. Take truckloads
    to Boston. Give to your Red Cross.
    Beg on the highway: please
    take my zucchini, I have a crippled
    mother at home with heartburn.

    Sneak out before dawn to drop
    them in other people's gardens,
    in baby buggies at churchdoors.
    Shot, smuggling zucchini into
    mailboxes, a federal offense.

    - Marge Piercy

  3. Margaret - Oh, thank you for the morning laugh! Fortunately I had just put DOWN my cup of tea!

    At least there's this: before I can take on zucchini, I first need to nurture basil. The mesquite's not blooming yet, but darnit, I miss my caprese salads!

  4. Wrap excess zuch like birthday/Christmas presents, 'accidentally" leave same in cart outside store...

    If someone crosses zuch with kudzu... that could be problematic.

  5. Or it could be the start of a horror story. Day of the Zuchids?