I first woke up confused, thinking "Why does Calmer Half's snoring sound like a cow?"
...No, wait, that's not Calmer Half.
That's a cow. Right outside our window.
Ah, somebody's fence is down.
...Yep, at least two cows.
Eating my lawn and lowing at each other at Oh Dark Thirty in the morning.
All right, self, grab a bathrobe, and the phone, and what's the non-emergency number for the police?
Welcome to Tiny Town, Texas!
...Damage assessment can wait for first light. If they got the neighbor's roses, there might be a revenge BBQ happening soon.