Saturday, December 18, 2010

Calmer Half

This man is my rock. Sometimes this means he's as stubborn as a rock, immovable object to my unstoppable force. Always, this means he's my shelter against the storm, against the world. When I'm about ready to metaphorically tear my hair out and set the plane on fire after yet another setback, he calmly reminds me that he loves me, and that it's all okay. And then, it is.

When others wonder how he can let me go to be thousands of miles away for months, he calmly reminds them that he does not own his wife. (It's true! He didn't pay my father a bride price for me! [Though he did offer.]) Whether I'm having a good day or a bad one, when we're apart, I can count on at least one phone call a day, regularly and faithfully. He has mastered the art of holding so tightly I shall never feel unsupported, yet so loosely that I shall never feel like my wings have been clipped, or that I cannot fly.

Sometimes he frustrates me, because he does not try to limit me. I tried to tease him by threatening to cut my hair short, and he was fine with it. In fact, he appeared mildly baffled that I expected him to object. "It's your hair, love." Sometimes he is so laid back I almost wonder if I am walking all over him - and then I hit a point he cares about, and I am reassured that he has a spine like a mountain and a will as inexorable.

He never yells, and rarely curses. (Except at "bloody idiots" on the road, for which I tease him.) When I am moved to yell at him, he doesn't yell back - he listens. Sometimes he changes, and sometimes he points out that I have no right or reason to talk to him like that. I have no choice, then, but to listen back. Which is why our arguments usually are short, and end in thoughtful conversation, or sincere apologies.

It's not a smooth road by any means. When we walk down the street, I want to put my good shoulder toward him so it won't hurt when he tugs my arm or bumps into me, but he wants me to walk on the side that leaves his gun hand free. He doesn't put the toilet seat down. I steal covers and grumble at him if he moves in the night. He always wants and expects to drive. I use all the hot water when I shower. He gets cranky and refuses to take help when he's tired. I get petty and snarl when I have low blood sugar.

But all those things are immaterial, and easily dismissed by the steadfast love in his eyes as he smiles and says, "Calm down, love. It's all right; no one's shooting at you."


  1. Well, that IS a good point Wing... And y'all DO make a very nice couple :-)

  2. Welcome home Wing. Now why did you bring the weather with you?

  3. WOW! fantastic post my dear! I have seen you two together and that love shines through in both of you. So glad you are home and with Peter again! Come see us when you can!

  4. Glad you guys are together again! Can't wait to see y'all.

  5. I could have written this about my husband... well said.

  6. I love you, too, darling. Thanks for the kind words.

  7. He's absolutely lovely, and you deserve no less. :) I'm wishing you much love and happiness this Christmas and for the coming year. *hugs*

  8. I am glad he found you. You are perfect for him.

  9. Strangely, though our environments and circumstances are worlds apart, I think I truly understand many sentiments and marvels you ennumerated. When my life is but a dream within a dream within a pearl on an endless strand of more, and none are known but for the repetitive depth that only Escher could bring into an image an outsider could ponder, K reaches across a chasm unflinchingly and I know I am home.

    You are from the sky, he is from the bright sun and grit of life; K is is from the deep rock and I am from the sea: there's a balance in there, those pairs, and though to the outsiders it may be the embodiment of chaos theroy, it works and we smile.

    Our paths can't cross and won't, but please, know your post made me grin!

    You speak lucid truth, stranger!