Saturday, November 26, 2011

Well, actually...

Two days ago, Calmer Half made a comment about my new sneakers being in need of a washing. And then went and washed them. This was a new concept to me; I've never washed shoes before. I just get them out of the box and wear them until they fall apart. While they were drying yesterday, I wore my older pair to work - sneakers that have survived several years, an aircraft restoration, cross-country trips, camping, shooting, work on other aircraft, civil war shoot, and all the other parts of life that I wasn't wearing boots for. They're halfway to falling apart, and I only keep them as a backup pair now.

I grinned at him and made a facetious comment about him washing the old sneakers, too. Note to self: don't bluff with Calmer Half. He doesn't bluff. This may explain... a lot of things, actually, including the way he gets dogs and dogs in human form to back off.

He came upstairs not that long later, and with a look somewhere between baffled and amazed, informed me that the water in the washing machine had turned black, and that the first wash had "left a tide-ring! What did you get on those shoes? Crude from the Exxon Valdez?"

I tipped back in my chair, frowning thoughtfully. "Well, actually... you know, if you go to any of the beaches where the spill happened, and dig down, you'll still find the crude. And I did go down to the shore and get a fair bit of mud on them when..." I was thinking in the parts-per-billion technicality, but I don't think that's how he took it, as he turned and went back downstairs with something that was either a huff or a sigh.

I so need to write a parody of "Whose Bed Have Your Boots Been Under" for him. Hmm. "Whose plane have your shoes been under? Whose lathe have your shoes been under? And in which state I wonder? Did the cannon sound like thunder, baby?...." Gotta work on that.


  1. Ask a silly question, get a silly answer.

    Thanks for the smile.

  2. I can't imagine HOW your sneakers got dirty. Everything stay clean forever in Alaska, right?


  3. LOL, bet that's the first time in a LONG time he was left speechless :-)

  4. Shoe trees (remember them?) or a good stuffing of newspaper may be helpful to restore shape during the drying process.

  5. Calmer Half, being the same sort of man who'd come up with the idea of washing sneakers, has and used shoe trees when drying the sneakers. Good idea, too!

  6. I wash mine in Dawn, just like they do the oil soaked birds.

    I could only imagine the look on his face. Priceless.

    word verification: lathe. . .

  7. I use Goop Hand Cleaner. Comes in one lb tubs, and wall dispenser size. No grit in it, so not harmful to materiel or washing machines.

    I rub it into or onto the item, let sit for about twenty minutes, then toss into the washer. Will remove petroleum based stains in jeans that have gone through the wash/dry cycle many times! (Crankcase oil from diesels may leave some sort of black spots that never come out. Probably combustion by-products, I'm thinking.)

    I keep a small tub with my laundry supplies, along with a pair of nitrile exam gloves and a large spoon. I use the back of the spoon to press the soap into the materiel I'm cleaning.

    I normally run the washer a second time with regular laundry detergent to remove the slight chemical odor that may remain.

    Once in a while, I even clean my hands with it.

    Avialable in WalMart and places that sell auto parts.