Thursday, February 21, 2013

A plush life

I can be as dense as granite, especially when exhausted and out of caffeine. However, when my brother calls me about half an hour after the last meeting of the day, and mentions in a Very Urgent manner that one of his little spawn is having a birthday in three days, I get the hint. This is the man who knows I barely remember my own birthday, and presents are a sporadic if ever sort of thing from sheer lack of memory. Something, somewhere, probably went wrong, and a little reminding means Aunt Wing can fill in the gap with presents. "What does she want for her birthday, brother mine?"

"She wants legos. And an alligator." He paused a moment, and added reflectively, "My wife won't let me get alligator steaks." Clearly, that discussion had not gone well for him.

"Legos. Got it."

So on to the internet, to the Great South American River of 2-day shipping. And because I'd said legos, being contrary, the first thing I looked for was alligators.

Did you know you can buy a 41" stuffed plushie alligator, with 2-day shipping, for under thirty bucks? It was a hard decision; legos not only encourage budding engineers, but also would be mines underfoot for soft arches of bare feet in the dark. Revenge!

But no, no, over a yard of stuffed animal would be overkill enough, and not inflict collateral damage on my sister in law or other feet. Maybe G-d has a point in this leaving vengeance in his hands.

His name is Swampy.

He has become a bone of contention between the battling bright little things, and I think I may have set the bar for expected amounts of overkill when the next one marks another year of growth. *facepalm* Ah, well. I expect he'll call to remind me in time.


  1. My gift giving habit includes any and all items which give screams and sirens whenever bumped, hopefully at zero dark thirty.

  2. My father, some years prior, gave one of 'em a drum set. With cymbals.

  3. My bro-in-law once gave us (for older daughter) a Barbie dream house. A big, honkin', multi-story folding gothic mansion of a pink nightmare - and hundreds of pieces and decals. Took me half a night to assemble the thing.

    Couple years later, I gave him a 7.5 foot tall revolving CD/DVD display tower. The box weighed 200 lbs, and because of all the misc. fasteners, it took him an entire weekend.

    Revenge can be sweet, so hang in there, Auntie, and up the (ahem) ante.

  4. LOL, love it... And yeah, you're in trouble... :-D

  5. I gave my nephew a plastic erector set, with a couple of hundred of pieces for my brother to step on in the night. Which he did.

    My sister outdid me and gave the kid a Playdough Fun Factory. My brother had lots of fun getting squished playdough out of his rugs.

  6. Yeh, that is a classicly YOU thing to do. I approve :-)

  7. Yeah, I literally remember no-one's birthday, because (having been born on Christmas) I learned birthday's weren't important.