Sunday, February 26, 2017

The real interesting part...

So, over at a friend's tonight, and he had the Oscars on.

One of us was definitely watching for the costuming. I kinda was, too, though I was playing "spot the costume mistresses fixing everything for photo ops."

But four of us were really playing "spot the security in tuxes." My goodness, that place was swarming with security! So we were counting the number of people in dove position, and spotting the security guy in tennis shoes instead of shiny black wingtips that aren't so good for hauling butt, and the security guy who clearly neither knew nor cared that his bowtie was askew... (I kept expecting a costume mistress to make him twitch by running up and fixing it, but the camera wasn't catching it.)

There were some celebrities there, too. I didn't recognize most of 'em, so they got labelled manbun-boy, concentration-camp-vampire woman, unhappy-child-bride, etc. But who cares about them, when there are costumes, costume mistresses, and security to watch?

Apparently appendix carry was really popular this year, because most of 'em weren't printing on the tuxes.


  1. Sorry you had to undergo the annual orgy of self-congratulation, but at least you seem to have found a way to make it fun. :)

  2. Maybe the security you could see was unarmed and the armed security was further back; after all, we can't upset the anti-gun celebrities by having guns around them, right?

    I read last year about the huge cordon of security put around the awards shows; blocks are closed off in every direction and large numbers of private security and police are there for days before the event. Badges and passes are closely monitored and have lots of rules to be agreed to before getting one.

    What fun - NOT!
    I stay away from stuff like that, far, far, away!

  3. Heh, yep that was fun! :-) And we never even got to see the fences outside, nor THAT set of security!!!

  4. Could you please explain "dove position"? Google images is not helpful with this.

  5. Rich - when the security guy has his hands up about mid-chest, with the fingers of one hand crossed one over the other with open palms, not clasping, usually in a V-shape. This lets him instantly grab the cover garment out of the way while drawing from the shoulder holster, because his hands are already hovering inches from the butt in a "resting" position. It also prevents the critter who's the reason you're drawing your gun from seeing large "I'm drawing a gun" movements.

    For advanced dove position, one gentleman I know plays with his wedding ring, so it looked like a mindless habitual gesture instead of a ready position.